Plan 9 From Outer Space, terrible sci-fi classic, not rated, 11 p.m Friday and Saturday, Sept. 13 and 14, Jean Cocteau Cinema, 3 chiles
Viewing Plan 9 From Outer Space, Ed Wood Jr.’s masterpiece (when compared with the rest of his films), one can be forgiven for wondering what the other eight plans were. This particular plan involves outer-space invaders shooting long-distance electrodes into the pineal and pituitary glands of the recently dead, bringing them back to life in an effort to persuade earthlings to stop creating weapons of destruction. The aliens only manage to revive three corpses — a massive police detective played by Swedish wrestler Tor Johnson, a frail old man played by Bela Lugosi and his stunt double, and the old man’s kinda hot young wife, played by cult horror figure Vampira, aka Maila Nurmi. This trio of ghouls moves as slowly as snails yet still manages to overwhelm fast-running humans. The police are called into investigate these strange doings, and the actors portraying cops keep pointing their guns at their own feet and heads as they pontificate with such brilliant lines as, “Inspector Clay is dead … murdered! And someone’s responsible!” Incidentally, the entire picture is narrated by a guy sitting in a coffin, who solemnly notes, “We are all interested in the future, as that is where you and I will spend the rest of our lives.” And then he takes us into a flashback. Weird.
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