Sorry to resort to corny vampire puns, but Gina Meyers' Love at First Bite: The Unofficial Twilight Cook Book really does bite. I wish that weren't the case.

There's something sweet about a book that might encourage tweens, teens or vampire-obsessed adults to cook. Promotional materials make Love at First Bite sound somewhat creative and interesting; but the fact that it contains little that's imaginative or, frankly, especially edible makes it seem like a shameless attempt to capitalize on Twilight franchise creator Stephanie Meyer's success.

Gina Meyers clearly did not have an editor — her book is riddled with typos and redundancies. She didn't self-edit, either. A few recipes are nearly identical, and one actually appears twice (to make matters worse, both instances omit instructions for incorporating half the ingredients). Some of the amateurish black-and-white photos look more like snapshots of medical conditions for educational leaflets.

The bulk of what fills these pages has little or nothing to do with vampires, werewolves or teenage girls. You will find items like Wolf Pack Waffles and Full Moon Pancakes here, but most of those recipes relate to the books in title only. Others are a stretch: Does Bella's making them once in the four-book series necessitate the inclusion of "recipes" for basics like fried eggs and grilled cheese sandwiches? Someone interested in putting together a Twilight-inspired menu could come up with better, more relevant choices using Google.

Maybe the publisher chose Gina Meyers for this project because her name is similar to that of the Twilight series' author. Clearly the decision wasn't based on her love of food or knowledge of cooking. She relies heavily on processed ingredients — canned sauces, premade pie crusts and breads, boxed cake mixes and seasoning packets. She blithely suggests that applesauce makes an acceptable substitute for oil and that, if you're out of nuts (any kind, apparently), you can simply use water chestnuts instead. Santa Feans in particular should look away from the pages containing recipes for enchiladas and something called a relleno.

Julia Child would roll over in her grave if she knew about the Melt in Your Mouth Coq au Vin, which calls for a can of cream of chicken soup. I lost my appetite over the "I dare you to eat Pizza!" Pie, which involves topping a (prebaked, store-bought) pie crust with "firm tomatoes" and a bizarre combination of mayonnaise and Parmesan cheese. That sounds like a dare, all right.

Meyers scatters quotes from the Twilight series throughout the cookbook (some of these also contain typos), but most are random, pointless lines. "Charlie seemed absentminded at dinner" and "Mom is an unpredictable cook," for example. Many refer to the fact that Bella usually cooks for her divorced dad, Charlie. It's a good thing she didn't use a cookbook like this one, though, because Charlie might've starved to death, or worse, succumbed to something with the unfortunate name of Irritated Grizzly Bear Steak.