Seven affected by mental illness tell their stories in the hope of illuminating a widespread problem

Natalie Storey | The New Mexican

3/9/2008 - 3/7/08

During the height of her anxiety disorder, Annette Strom was terrified to walk from her house to the mailbox.

The journey down the driveway was so unbearable that she bought herself a walker. Most of the rest of the time, she stayed inside.

"I would feel like I was going to faint, for no reason, just like it was going to come over me," Strom said. "I would start to think, 'I'm going to get light-headed,' and there was no physical reason for this. I couldn't really take myself out. I couldn't go out and about like other girls could."

Starting in her teens, Strom lived much of her life in a state of terror. After she moved to New Mexico in 2002 to be near her brother, she sought help for her disorder at LifeLink.

"It took a long time for me to tell people that I used a walker I didn't need because I was so in my symptoms and convinced. I was completely convinced. It's amazing what the mind can convince us of even though there are no facts to it."

This weekend, the woman who used to be terrified of going to the grocery store alone will speak in public about her debilitating mental illness at Minds Interrupted: Stories of Lives Affected by Mental Illness. The monologues will be presented Saturday.

"I hope that by hearing what I have to say that people with a diagnosis, or mothers and fathers of people with a diagnosis, won't feel that there's no way of getting out of it, that here is no hope," Strom said. "There is a window of hope."

Seven people, some of whom have been diagnosed with a mental disorder and others whose family members have been affected by it, will present their stories in the monologues. The monologues are being organized by the Santa Fe affiliate of the National Alliance on Mental Illness, an education, support and advocacy group that helps people diagnosed with mental illness and their families cope.

Michele Herling, the co-organizer of the event, whose brother suffers from a brain injury and anxiety disorder, said mental illness is rarely talked about even though it is a widespread problem. Herling has been participating in NAMI groups for about two years.

"I realized I wanted to find a way to advocate for (my brother) in a bigger way," Herling said. "The monologues seemed like a way to bring these stories to people more publicly, a way to break the code of silence and reduce the stigma attached to these illnesses. Because once you hear someone's story, it's hard to distance yourself from their humanity."

The speakers have spent time with producer and director Tanya Taylor-Rubinstein, who has helped them write and prepare their monologues for the stage. Each monologue will run 10 to 12 minutes.

Taylor-Rubinstein, who runs Project Life Stories, has helped facilitate other monologue series, but she said this time around, the experiences were particularly inspiring.

"I think people are going to be very deeply moved by the courage of both the family members and the people who are facing mental illness," she said. "I think they are going to walk away with a much deeper sense of compassion, with the idea that this is a disease and this isn't within people's control. These stories are very different from the sensationalized way mental illness is portrayed in the media and in film. The stories are both very dramatic and very ordinary, like life, really."

U.S. Rep. Tom Udall, D-N.M., will introduce the speakers and share some of his own experiences with mental illness. Udall, whose brother was in his 20s when he was diagnosed with schizophrenia, has long been an advocate for better care for the mentally ill. Udall said he believes with the publicity about mental illness among returning veterans, Americans are starting to talk about it more.

"I think it's true that people don't understand how prevalent (mental illness) is and that people can go through stages in their lives depending on circumstances that require them to get help. It's important for it to be discussed and for people to know they can get the right kind of help," he said.

Santa Fe County Sheriff Greg Solano will also share experiences he's had with an uncle who began suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder when he got back from Vietnam.

Solano's mother, Syliva, was a founding member of NAMI in Santa Fe and worked diligently to get a sobering center set up in town because she believed it would help her brother, who also suffered from alcoholism. Sylvia Solano died at the age of 38.

"When they first asked me, I was hesitant because I didn't know what a monologue was — I had never seen one," the sheriff said. "But it was a really good cause, and my mother really cared about this. ... It's challenging emotionally, and to write a story that people want to hear and just to try to convey the emotions that I saw as a child."

Marin Sardy, an editor at Santa Fean magazine, has coped with the schizophrenia of her mother and younger brother for many years. When Sardy was 10 years old, her mother had a major psychotic episode and was convinced people were trying to kill her. Sardy moved in with her father, while her mom spent time in treatment facilities and never quite came to terms with her mental illness. Sardy has been able to maintain a relationship with both her brother and mother, but there have been many difficulties.

"This is a story that is very close to my heart," Sardy said. "It's been a huge part of my life for 29 years, but it's something that when I try to talk to people about it, they know so little about what it means that it's shocking to me and it's difficult for me to get people to understand. I've just sort of made it a personal mission of mine to help people understand."

Creating the monologues has been a difficult process, but those involved say they hope they can get people talking about mental illness and about how society treats the mentally ill.

"I know I'll be exposing myself with things I've never been able to talk about publicly," said Strom. "But if it helps someone — if it does somebody some good — it will be worth it."

Contact Natalie Storey at 986-3026 or nstorey@sfnewmexican.com.

IF YOU GO

What: "Minds Interrupted: Monologues on Mental Illness"

Who: The Santa Fe chapter of the National Alliance on Mental Illness

When: 7:30 p.m. Saturday

Where: Santa Fe Performing Arts, 1050 Old Pecos Trail

Cost: $15 and $50