Off-leash blog: Canine swing vote all about the quality of the handouts

By Ben Swan | The New Mexican

10/4/2008

Dogs. What can you do? You nourish them, try to guide them, give them self-confidence and then what do they do? They act out.

At least that's what my once-Democratic dog Zach did during last Saturday's Paw-litical event at Teca Tu in Sanbusco Market Center. Given the choice between a donkey- or elephant-shaped biscuit, Zach snapped up the Republican icon.

It's true, he does like handouts, so maybe the chubby elephant was better than that skinny donkey. Who knows?

Bear, on the other hand, was decidedly undecided. She was happy helping her brother vote, but once she got into the poll booth, she left both biscuits untouched. Perhaps the issues overwhelmed her. So goes the canine swing vote.

Store owner Laurie Wilson dreamed up the event as a way to get animal owners excited about the elections, she said. All dogs received an "I voted" sticker after casting their ballots, and their companions left with door prizes, like the bumper sticker my pickup is now sporting: "Wag More, Bark Less — 2008 A Campaign for Change."

That's apolitical enough to warrant display, according to my paper's ethical guidelines.

The pet store's final tally was close, said employee Mira Lopez, and oddly enough mirrored national polls. Barack Obama won by one vote —
16 — over John McCain's 15. There were seven undecided votes.

"Some of the owners weren't too happy about the votes," Lopez said. "There were a lot of threats about having to sleep outside. But it was the dog's vote, not theirs."

Obama held a solid lead throughout most of the day, but by the end of the voting, the McCain camp quickly caught up. Many of the dogs would have happily had a recount, Lopez said, but poll workers tried to be as fair as possible. "Let's just say the dogs really enjoyed their choices," she said.

And the voting went smoother than expected, with no acting up over the candidates. "It was a good, happy event," she said, noting the turnout was great and poll times had to be extended. "Let's just hope it's the same for the national elections."

The animals were likely distracted by other election-related goodies at the store, while their companions nibbled treats more suited for humans, like cupcakes. Aside from candidate-specific bumper stickers, the store carries partisan T-shirts, biscuits, collars and even party-related kerchiefs. There are even stickers for peacenik dogs and catnip-stuffed toys for political cats, fat or not.

And just in time for the party, a shipment of cloth squeak toys arrived, some in the image of McCain and others that bore an Obama resemblance.

"They're made in the U.S.A., so they're pretty durable," Lopez said. "And that's what you want. You want them to be able to chew them for a while."

At least until the election's over, that is. I offered Zach his choice of chew toy. But by that time, he was getting decidedly mixed signals about choice, and he left Obama behind. Bear, as usual, also was too overwhelmed to sneak a toy and run.

So I guess we all learned a lesson. I can teach a dog to shake, sit up or spin on command, but when it comes to politics, you really have to sweeten the pie.

Next time I'm upping the ante with some liver-scented treats. I can't just let sleeping dogs lie — I've got to give these dogs something to howl about. For some reason, my well-educated canines just can't get excited about the stock market, in spite of that juicy bailout plan.

Does your dog play paw-tisan politics? Continue our mudslinging discussion at www.santafescoop.com.