Learning to cope with cancer

Retreat helps inform patients and their family

By Ana Maria Trujillo | The New Mexican

8/16/2008

In October 2006, Santa Fe resident Jan Cooledge was diagnosed with breast cancer. "I was shocked," Cooledge said. "But I just knew that I had to persevere and get through it."

At first, she didn't really want to talk about her disease.

"A lot of people are in denial," Cooledge said. "They just don't want to think about it."

Despite her denial, Cooledge did what she needed to do. She secured a doctor and started on the road that she hoped would lead to remission. Last September, she finally decided she was ready to talk about her ordeal, so she looked into the Family Cancer Retreat held annually at the Glorieta Baptist Conference Center. The retreat is sponsored by Cancer Services of New Mexico, which is based out of Albuquerque.

"It's very important to know other people who have the same thing," Cooledge said.

"I just wanted some more education, and I wanted to meet more people with cancer. I met a lot of really nice people, and it was so beautiful out there, too."

Although Cooledge has been cancer-free for several months, the retreat helped her learn to deal with the outrageous medical bills, which is a common problem for cancer patients and their families.

"I was so surprised because I have AARP (insurance), which I thought was a major medical and it wasn't," Cooledge explained. "I have a lot of bills now."

The retreat is designed to offer cancer patients and their families information on treatments, diet, insurance, medical bills and caregiving, among other things.

"I learned information about my diet, how to eat more nutritious foods and things to do to combat cancer," Cooledge said. "There were also different experts in the field, as far as doctors and nurses, and they sit on panels and discuss cancer and things that had improved and things that needed to be improved."

Cooledge recommends the retreat to any cancer patients and their families.

"I think that everybody can benefit from going," Cooledge said. She said it especially helps patients in that initial stage of denial after diagnosis, during which people "have a tendency to block off other people and other things that can help you."

How it all got started

In 2001, Blaire and Richard Larson of Albuquerque started the nonprofit Cancer Services of New Mexico after their own experience with cancer.

In 1991, Richard's father had been diagnosed with cancer, which turned the family upside down, physically, emotionally and financially.

It was difficult, despite Richard Larson's connections in the medical field, including his position as the vice president for research at The University of New Mexico's Health Science Center, his medical degree and his Ph.D.

"He runs one of the biggest cancer-research labs in the state," Blaire said. "He was still practicing medicine (when his dad found out) and he spent most of his time diagnosing cancer, but when his dad was diagnosed, it was totally overwhelming to our family.

"We thought, 'If it's this hard for us when we had the good fortune of ... calling up any (doctor), what must it be like for the average family?' "

In 2002, the Larson's
founded the free Family Cancer Retreat to offer educational programs for the average family who is dealing with cancer.

"The idea is to combine a really in-depth educational experience that you can't find anywhere else," Blaire said. "It's an opportunity for these families to get out of the day-to-day in the doctors' offices."

During the first retreat in 2002, there were approximately 50 participants from 23 families. Six years later, there are two retreats held every year, drawing more than 500 people combined. Blaire said it was the largest general cancer-education program in New Mexico and the largest program of its type in the United States.

The highlight of the retreat is the "Ask the Oncologist" panels.

"These are always a really high point of the session," Blaire said. There are different panels based on the types of tumors the participants have. For example, there are oncologists who answer questions for those who have breast or gynecological cancers and a separate panel for people with prostate and gastrointestinal cancers.

"They are getting access to information and getting to talk to people that they wouldn't have had a chance to talk with in such depth otherwise," Blaire said.

Every year the retreat's agenda is very similar because most of the participants are attending for the first time.

"We purposely keep the agenda pretty constant," Blaire said. "It's really designated for someone who is in the midst of the cancer journey."

And, to Blaire's surprise, the retreat has become one of the biggest programs Cancer Services offers.

"I really didn't appreciate (the retreat) when we first started the program, that it was going to be such a big part of (Cancer Services of New Mexico)," Blaire said.

In addition to information for the patient, the retreat provides information for caregivers.

"Caregivers are often so overwhelmed," Blaire said. "One of the things I saw is as hard as the process is on the patient, the caregivers are focused on keeping everything else together."

Communication
and interaction

The rooms at the Glorieta Conference Center do not have televisions, which forces participants to have conversations with their loved ones that they might not have when the TV is distracting them.

Blaire Larson said one year a woman with incurable cancer signed up for the retreat with her family.

"She had been coping with breast cancer and had been dealing with it for many, many years," Blaire said.

Her husband wrote to the Larsons and said that because of the setting of the retreat and the fact that there were no televisions in the room, led him and his wife to have a deep discussion.

"He wrote, 'My wife and I had the most in-depth discussion about her cancer in all of the years that she's been coping with this,' " Larson said.

She said that while the idea of a cancer retreat not being a happy experience, it can be for people who attend.

"Folks are always surprised because there is such a positive energy in the whole program," Larson said. "You might think, 'God, that must be depressing,' and there are times during the program that are heart-wrenching, but there are times when people are smiling and so happy to be there. It's really an uplifting experience."

Get signed up

The retreat features nearly
40 speakers on different topics and between 15 to 20 physicians to answer questions.

"The (patients) had more time talking one-on-one to a doctor than they did during their treatment," Blaire Larson said.

There is room for 120 families at the upcoming retreat, which is Sept. 12-18. People must apply to the free program, which is funded by several organizations, including the Northern New Mexico Health Grants, which donates the money for families from Northern New Mexico to participate. The only cost for participants is transportation.

"We are filling up pretty fast," Blaire said, "but at this point we still have room available."

To register, visit www.cancerservicesnm.org for an application; pick up an application at your oncologist's office; or call Cancer Services of New Mexico's program director, Mike Capless, at 505-239-4239, for more information.

Contact Ana Maria Trujillo at 986-3084 or atrujillo@sfnewmexican.com.