Today's column marks the one year anniversary of Etiquette Rules. I'd like to thank The New Mexican and its readers for opening up this forum to me.

On the eve of this one-year mark, I started thinking about the nature of anniversaries and wondering why they matter. Webster's dictionary defines anniversary as "the annual return of the date of a notable event." Anniversaries matter because they give us the opportunity to celebrate, mourn, acknowledge or reflect on events in our lives. Recognizing an anniversary, whether one from our own lives or from the life of a family member or friend, indicates awareness, support and encouragement as we observe the changes made between then and now.

Ritual and protocol often accompany anniversaries, but the emphasis should be on reflection. Without reflection, these acts lack meaning and become merely a date on one's calendar.

There are many types of anniversaries — personal, familial and societal — and recognizing them can take many forms. We pay visits, send cards or telephone to express our good wishes. Flowers and thoughtful gifts are always appreciated. Whatever the gesture, if done with reflection, it can leave both you and the recipient feeling good.

Some of the more common anniversaries we celebrate, along with a range of ways we recognize them:

u The wedding anniversary. Sending a card is a simple but meaningful gesture for any anniversary. There is also a traditional wedding anniversary gift list and a more modern version of it. Some of the items on the traditional list date back centuries and may not have relevance to our lives today, while some of the modern lists were simply created by a jewelers' association or an ad agency, encouraging you to spend every year.

The thing to remember is that these lists are merely symbols and can guide you when looking for a gift. One idea is to have a portrait taken every five years. Friends and family can offer to host a celebration, or give a bottle of wine bottled from the year the couple was married.

And for the traditional 25-year-and-above milestones, an engraved gift is appropriate. Honoring the wedding anniversary of a widow or widower should be approached with care, but sending a card is always thoughtful. Spouses can create an anniversary journal or scrapbook dedicated to recording how each anniversary is celebrated, along with thawing out the wedding cake living in the depths of your freezer. However you recognize a wedding anniversary, your gesture shows respect and encouragement for the institution and solidifies the marriage as it grows from year to year.

u The career anniversary. In the workplace, celebrating an employee's anniversary can impact the bottom line just as much as not recognizing it can. Why should employers recognize someone for simply doing their job another year? Because it recognizes and affirms loyalty and makes employees feel good, which is good for business.

Recognition can come in many forms. Make mention in workplace newsletters, bulletin boards and e-mail. Somewhat classier, though less utilitarian than a set of steak knives, is a plaque or pin. An engraved watch, business-card holder or a briefcase are functional awards. A meal with the boss gives the two an opportunity to review the past year and discuss ideas for the future. A promotion and pay raise are always very welcome and should be considered for milestone anniversaries.

A colleague making note that you've been working together for 10 years highlights the working relationship and shows awareness. A company celebrating its own anniversary can send out cards thanking customers for 25 years of business and boost sales with a promotion.

The big question, though, is how to remember all those dates. I suggest you record them in a place that's in your face. Whether that is an alarm on your iPhone calendar or, as I do, keeping a birthday/anniversary calendar on the kitchen wall, find a way to glance at the month and prepare accordingly for any upcoming anniversaries. With every wedding or funeral you attend, record the date on that calendar so that each year after you may follow up and show continued love and support.

The traditional one-year anniversary gift is paper, which I find appropriate to my first anniversary with The New Mexican. In the past year, your topic suggestions and feedback have been a wonderful gift to me. In light of this gift, I would like to share your stories in future columns on how practicing etiquette has affected your life in a positive way. Please send them my way. And that, my friends, is a newsworthy and notable event.

Bizia Holmes Greene is founder of the Etiquette School of Santa Fe. Contact her at www.etiquettesantafe.com">www.etiquettesantafe.com or 988-2070.