"Good fences make good neighbors." — Robert Frost

I had barely moved into my new home when I received a voice mail from the neighbors next door: "Ms. Greene, your fence has fallen over onto our property." A massive section of 6-foot-tall coyote fence had literally gone timber across their driveway. I was mortified and quickly resolved the situation. I mended that broken fence in 24 hours, reinforced to withstand gale-force winds and future embarrassment.

There are those on the block whom we acknowledge as neighbors and those we label as the nightmare next door. Here are some appropriate quotes and helpful tips to love thy neighbor.

"As man draws nearer to the stars, why should he not also draw nearer to his neighbor?" — Lyndon B. Johnson

Positive interactions with neighbors start with initial contact. If you are not greeted with apple pie on moving day, set the tone by introducing yourself. A simple smile and wave as you bring out the trash bin or drive down the street shows acknowledgment and respect. Even if you never exchange words, when the day comes to borrow that cup of milk, your neighbors will graciously accommodate you.

"Don't throw stones at your neighbors, if your own windows are glass." — Benjamin Franklin

Avoid gossip and do not be a nosy neighbor. It's in poor taste and you may be on the receiving end one day. If you have a grievance, take the high road. Do not write threatening letters or leave rude messages. Make the first move by starting with a positive. "Your son is a very talented musician. Is it possible to stop trumpet practice by 8 p.m.?" or, "Your addition will be beautiful, could the construction crew stop parking in my driveway?" If necessary, contact your homeowners association or local government regarding ordinances.

"Nothing makes you more tolerant of a neighbor's noisy party than being there." — Franklin P. Jones

If you are a social household, be aware of the impact your events have on your neighbors. A positive impact can come in the form of an invitation. Whether they are invited or not, inform neighbors of any large events in advance so there are no unexpected complaints. Make sure your guests know where not to park and end an outdoor, music-filled evening at a reasonable hour.

"Your neighbor is the man who needs you." — Elbert Hubbard

Just because your neighbor happens to be a plumber or handy with a circular saw does not mean you have unlimited access to his or her skills or tools. Be respectful of a neighbor's time and valuable equipment. As the skilled neighbor, show generosity to a new resident or one in an emergency, but don't be afraid to set boundaries on your availability. As the recipient, show gratitude with a thank-you letter or token of appreciation. Always return what you borrow in the condition you received it — and you must replace what you damage.

"My neighbor doesn't want to be loved as much as he wants to be envied." — Irving Layton

Nothing brings about more angst than seeing the dreaded building permit affixed to the house next to you. As a homeowner, think about your imprint on your neighborhood and keep expansion to a complimentary size and style. The angst often comes from fear of the unknown, so avoid surprises and show respect by informing neighbors of your plans and offer to show the blueprints. As concerned and resistant neighbors, think about why construction is necessary — such as adding a wheelchair ramp for the aging mother-in-law, building a guest room for a live-in caregiver or a new portal for which the neighborhood will be invited to many a barbecue.

"To love our neighbor as ourselves is such a truth for regulating human society." — John Locke

The code of etiquette we practice among our neighbors is a model for how to move about society. Common courtesies and thoughtful communication should extend beyond the streets of a neighborhood, spilling into our town, bringing together the residents of a state and creating a neighborly nation.

Bizia Holmes Greene is founder of the Etiquette School of Santa Fe. Contact her at www.etiquettesantafe.com">www.etiquettesantafe.com or 988-2070.