The mother of all holidays has arrived. I hope mothers everywhere are reading this column while enjoying toast and jam and fresh-squeezed orange juice from the comfort of their beds, delivered by loving children and spouses. While Mother's Day is not a religious holiday here, it is religiously celebrated worldwide. A young holiday with its roots in a peace movement, it has blossomed into a $14 billion industry.

The second Sunday in May was not always a day to celebrate mothers with traditions like crayon-drawn cards and brunches. While there are traditions and customs celebrating mythological deities and goddesses going back to antiquity, the holiday, as we celebrate it today, was born during the Civil War. Julia Ward Howe organized a day in 1870 for mothers to come together:

"To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,

The amicable settlement of international questions,

The great and general interests of peace."

This short-lived movement was resurrected by West Virginian Anna Reeves Jarvis in an effort to unite families divided by the Union and Confederate conflict. After Jarvis' death, her daughter, Anna M. Jarvis, poured her energy into creating an official holiday to honor her mother and the message of peace. In 1914, President Woodrow Wilson proclaimed Mother's Day as a national holiday. By the time Anna M. Jarvis died in 1948, more than 40 countries were celebrating the holiday, a commercialized phenomenon she never envisioned nor welcomed.

Mother's Day is the second highest gift-giving day after Christmas. Many restaurants and florists see their highest sales on this weekend while Hallmark says 96 percent of the nation celebrates it.

While I naturally think of my own mother on this day, there are others I'll be honoring including: a girlfriend who is finally expecting after lengthy fertility treatments; my single sister who is raising two young children; and a close family friend who lost her only child to diabetes.

There are many mothers in your family tree you can acknowledge: siblings, mothers by marriage, aunts and grandmothers. Outside the family tree, there are likely maternal figures who filled the role for you in your childhood — and maybe still do.

A common situation families face these days are divorced and remarried households. You may have an ex-mother-in-law while your children have double duty sharing the holiday with mother and stepmother. No matter the parental dynamics, it is important to respect the relationships children have with each relative. Parents should be considerate and work with one another to assist young children with organizing holiday gifts. If Dad is remarried, a discomfort between mother and stepmother may exist. It is imperative to have a discussion in advance about how the day should be spent, but priority is with the mother even if the holiday lands on Dad's weekend.

Choosing the gift route, whether material or hospitality, requires the mother of invention. Look for thoughtful gifts within your budget. Make your gift appropriate to each relationship when giving.

When it comes to gifts, including mothers who are biological, in-laws, steps and friends, you can never go wrong with flowers. Carnations are the official flower of Mother's Day, a tradition started by Anna M. Jarvis, honoring her mother's favorite flower. Some practice the belief that it is appropriate to accept a carnation when offered, whether or not you have children, as they believe the flower is in honor of your own mother. Take a red or pink one if your mother is living and a white one if she has died. Brunch, a corsage, a handwritten card or phone call are all thoughtful gestures. Offering your talents or services by volunteering your time for a project allows for valuable face time with one another.

Mother's Day isn't just about your mom alone. You can show admiration to any mother and those who act like mothers. Mind your manners, as mothers still say, and pick up the phone or pick up some flowers. "Mums" the word on this second Sunday of May. So speak up and say Happy Mother's Day.

Bizia Greene is founder of the Etiquette School of Santa Fe. Contact her at www.etiquettesantafe.com">www.etiquettesantafe.com or 988-2070