Growing Up Spanglish: 'Mi Grampo es un buen' storyteller
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11/14/2009 - 11/16/09
"¿Por qué es que las leaves de los aspen trees tremble in the wind?" asked Canutito as he sat closer to his grampo una mañana fría."Well, I'll tell you, m'hijo," said Grampo Caralampio swinging his arm over Canutito's head and hugging al muchachito. "Es una old story."
The little boy paró las orejitas, always ready to listen to one of his grampo's stories de más antes.
"Izque en los tiempos de la Bible," began his grampo as he cleared his throat, "Jesús was leading a group of men called apostles. Algunos were pretty good men like pescadores and carpenters, pero algotros were not so good como los tax collectors and the men from the IRS."
"Did they really have the IRS even entonces?" asked Canutito sitting up.
"¿Por qué piensas que people say that the only thing segura en la vida are taxes and death? They're always aquí," replied his grampo, even en los tiempos de Jesús.
Pero, de cualquiera manera, Jesús wanted to teash them una lesson. He told them, 'Hoy we are going to hacer un sacrificio. I want you to pick up some rocks and carry them around todo el día.' Pus, los bien güenos; los lambes like Peter, James and John, picked up huge rocks and they were trastraveando with them all over the place todo el día. Pero los más huevones como Judas picked up little pebbles and played with them todo el santo día tossing them into the air pretending que eran marbles.
Pus when it came time to eat el lonche at noon, all of the apostles sat down debajo de un árbol to eat. Jesús pointed to everybody's rock and said: 'Let all of these piedras be turned into pan.' And so it was. So the good apostles got to eat huge hunks of bread pero Judas just got a little migajita and he was still hungry. After they finished comiéndose el lonche, Jesús ordered them to pick up some piedras again. Pero this time Judas wasn't going to take any chances. He picked up the biggest, heaviest boulder he could find y todo el día trastraveó con él. He hauled it, staggering under its weight all afternoon until in was time to preparar la cena.
Todos los apóstoles sat under a tree the same as they had al medio día. Most of them only had tiny rocks pero el Judas, -why he was almost squished by the weight of his piedrotota. He sat there with la lengua de afuera just waiting for Jesús to say the right words. Just then Jesús got up, se remangó his sleeves and said, 'Tonight we will take a break. Vamos a ordenar pizza del Pizza Hut®!' Judas just fainted.
Canutito looked intently at his grampo. "Oiga grampo," he began, "Do you mean to tell me que tenían Pizza Hut® en esos días también?"
"Naturalmente, -chur," said his grandfather emphatically.
Canutito looked at him todo suspicious. But he decided to let sleeping perros lie, so he just changed the subject a little: "Oiga grampo," he said, "you told me que los aspens tremble because of something in the Bible pero you didn't tell me qué era."
"¡Oh sí!" said Grampo Caralampio, picking up his train of thought. "The reason que los aspens tremble is that they were supposed to be el árbol from which Judas se colgó. The tree trembles tiembla porque había sido un partner en el crime of Judas."
Canutito thought briefly of what his grandfather had said before he cleared his throat again and asked, "Oiga grampo, are you sure que habían aspen trees in Jerusalem en los tiempos de la Biblia? I thought they only had olivos, laureles and cedros de Lébano.
Grampo Caralampio took a deep breath before answering. Finally he said, "Mira m'hijo, that way que yo pienso las cosas, if there was an IRS and a Pizza Hut® in Biblical times, pus then I'm chur que también tenían aspen trees!"
Canutito just fell back against the banco defeated...
¿Le gustaría compartir sus anécdotas sobre su vida Spanglish con Torres o comentar con él sobre esta columna? Envíele un correo electrónico a lartor@unm.edu
