It took me three and-a-half months to lose 25 pounds. It took me only a month and-a-half to regain it.

Yes, that's right — I've gained back almost all the weight I proudly lost this year.

I blame it on a combination of factors: stress, breaking my foot, the economic downturn, the situation in the Middle East, Sarah Palin and an overwhelming urge to eat brownies with cream-cheese frosting. But mostly it's Sarah Palin's fault. And now her daughter's future mother-in-law gets arrested on drug charges? Oh, the humanity. Pass the fudge.

I know I'm not alone when it comes to gaining back the weight I've lost. Researchers say 95 percent of people regain their lost weight. Among them is Oprah Winfrey, who's regained 40 pounds and graces the cover of the January issue of O Magazine in before-and-after pictures. She admits to now weighing 200 pounds, and says she feels like "a fat cow."

She writes, "I'm mad at myself. I'm embarrassed. I can't believe that after all these years, all the things I know how to do, I'm still talking about my weight. I look at my thinner self and think, 'How did I let this happen again?' "

Oh, Oprah, here we both are — again.

I read blog after blog, chat after chat about Oprah's weight gain. The majority of comments were lovely and supportive — "Oprah is beautiful and inspirational no matter what her size."

But, of course, there also were cruel ones, like "Deal with it, Oprah. You'll always be a lard (let's just insert "butt" here for propriety's sake)." I admit I thought nasty things about the writer of that comment. How dare he insult the great and powerful Oprah, giver of free cars?

I even went so far as to look up his profile, where he describes himself as a "transportation accident attorney." I could say mean things here, but I won't — mostly because the man is an accident-chasing skunk lawyer and he'd sue me if I insulted him. (Let me point out that everything I've written thus far is factually correct and, therefore, not libelous.)

The real problem with lawyer666 (whose user name has been changed to protect the innocent from sue-age) is that he is a bully. But is lawyer666 a bully with a point? Oprah has been very public for decades with her weight-loss fight, much as I have been this year. When do Oprah and I just decide to stop trying? Is it time for us to give up and to accept that we always will be lard butts?

Oprah finds that her weight regain had something to do with a thyroid problem, but mostly with her life being out of balance — "too much work and not enough play." She doesn't have a weight problem so much as a "self-care problem," she writes, and she vows to try to give herself all the care and love she needs to be healthy.

I wish I could believe that love would heal the world and fight my fat. But I'm a journalist and my job is to question everything, so I'll stick to the one big question that only I can answer: Should I attempt, once again, to try to lose weight for the 43.6th time? (This number was derived at by taking my age when I first started dieting (13), dividing it by the number of boys I've lost weight for because I had a crush on them (23) and then adding the number of calories in a Heath bar (200).)

The answer to that question is a hesitant "Yes." Hesitant, because I'm tired of trying, and, frankly, I'm starting to lose hope. But I will try again, because I watch too many movies so I know what we do in life echoes in eternity. And that tomorrow is another day. And that there is no try; there is only do or do not. And badges? We don't need no stinking badges!

So, now that's settled, the question is how I will attempt to lose weight this time. Since I'll cling to facts until you pry them from my cold, dead hand, let's get some facts here.:

According to the National Weight Control Registry — which tracks the weight loss of 5,000 people — 45 percent of registry participants lose weight on their own and the other 55 percent use some type of program.

So maybe its time for me to get with the program. But which one?

Thankfully, I have just the one in mind.

I'll tell you all about it in my first column of the New Year on Jan. 7.



Want to know more about the main causes of weight regain? Check out Christine's blog at etastesantafe.com.