Nothing I have achieved in this life inspires envy like the announcement that I judged the chile contest at the New Mexico State Fair this year.

Whether I am confiding in a close friend, chatting at an A-list Santa Fe event, or talking on the phone to my Aunt Elaine in New Jersey, there's nothing subtle about the reactions when I mention this latest accomplishment.

Writing a guide book? Publishing a novel? Getting married? Journeying to the Amazon to interview a bona fide shaman? Being an extra on the set with Tommy Lee Jones and Charlize Theron?

All small, cold potatoes compared to the glory of becoming a Grand Taster of the Heat.

My status rises faster than the red-and-yellow Zia balloon at Balloon Fiesta opening-day mass ascension as I hear the responses: "Shut up!" and "How did you ever get that gig?" shamelessly followed with "How can I do that?"

Judging is a serious affair

Truth is, this pro-bono job is more than serious. Generations of anxious families fixate on every facial expression as I dip a plastic spoon into their homemade salsa, green-chile stew or carne adovada.

Unlike the fair's cookie contest, which is judged behind closed doors, the chile contest is held out in the open, under the fluorescent lights of the Creative Arts Building. Supplied only with a Styrofoam cup of water, a few grapes to cleanse the palate and concentration that emulates Tiger Woods putting for an eagle, I must taste and decide.

Tension is high on both sides of the table as, after each round, each judge takes the microphone to speak about the entries, describing merits with as much enthusiasm as possible.

Just try to remain fresh after two hours of tasting chile dishes, traditional and innovative.

But I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, for every jar of salsa contains, in addition to tomato, jalapeño, onion, garlic and Big Jim, a dollop of someone's soul. Every contestant so very much wants to take home a blue ribbon. I want to be positive, I want to encourage and I must maintain integrity. For these are real New Mexicans I am addressing. They can smell insincerity all the way to Jal, and they have no problem calling you on it.

Have dozens of people ever watched you chew? I imagine the only scrutiny more intense may be baring it all for the camera. I want to be fair. Yet I have my personal tastes and standards, cultivated through two decades and more eating chile high and low in just about every one of New Mexico's towns and along the backroads in between.

I have given years of my life to explaining why I would drive a hundred miles to eat green-chile stew at Maria's New Mexican Kitchen on a bleak, wintry Sunday, and why the chicken tacos with guacamole at El Parasol are archetypal, and why my automobile of its own impulse will take me to Horseman's Haven for carne adovada when I can't decide where to go for breakfast.

I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, yet I must commit my vote to the Best of Class for each of 14 categories from chile appetizers to chile desserts. Then comes the big challenge: Selecting which of the winning contestants will take home the Best of Show purple rosette.

Some categories, like posole and red-chile sauce, have only one entry each, a potential problem situation. Do they automatically receive a blue ribbon for being the one and only?

"Be generous," a mentor advised, and so I was, keeping in mind that solo entries are keeping our traditions alive as well as contributing to keeping families together at the holidays.

Chile is our comfort food. What if no one bothered to enter the red-chile sauce category at the New Mexico State Fair? What if the visages on Mount Rushmore suddenly vanished?


Here are some of the first-place winners, led off by Best of Show, for your enjoyment. They are all absolutely excellent.

BARBARA POLK'S BEST OF SHOW CHILE RIBS & POTATOES
(Serves 4)

1 rack pork ribs, sliced into singles and trimmed
6 cups oil
1 cup flour
1 teaspoon garlic salt
1 teaspoon black pepper
1 (28-ounce) package Bueno frozen red chile (hot)
1 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon oregano
1 teaspoon dried garlic
1 tablespoon garlic salt
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon sugar
3 cups water
4 medium potatoes

Cut and trim ribs. Heat oil to 400 degrees in deep fryer. Keep ribs in water as you get them ready to cook. Toss ribs in flour to coat. Fry until golden, about 10 minutes, then drain.

Mix remaining ingredients, except potatoes, and simmer in saucepan 30 minutes.

Place ribs in deep pan or casserole in single layer. Pour all but one cup of chile over ribs. Bake ribs at 300 degrees for 1 hour. Peel and slice potatoes and layer on ribs. Cover with remaining 1 cup of chile and bake for additional hour.

GRINGA GIRL'S FIRST PLACE CHILE CON CARNE WITH BEANS
(Heather Hintze of Albuquerque)

1 pound pork stew meat cut into bite-size pieces
1 onion, chopped
2 tablespoons oil
2 Ziploc bags frozen roasted green chile, peeled and chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 can diced tomatoes
3 cups water
1 tablespoon chicken boullion
1 teaspoon salt
4 potatoes, diced
2 cups cooked pinto beans (preferably prepared with salt pork)

Heat oil over medium-high heat in a heavy-bottomed pan or Dutch oven. Brown pork well, then add onion and cook until soft. Add remaining ingredients and bring to a boil. Turn heat down and simmer, covered, for 30 minutes. Add potatoes and simmer another 15-20 minutes or until potatoes are tender but firm. Serve with warm flour tortillas or over other dishes, as a spicy sauce.

First place in this highly competitive category went to an Albuquerque third-grader, age 8.

ETHAN'S ZINGY-ZANGY SALSA

2 garlic cloves
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon dry oregano
1 teaspoon sugar
1/2 teaspoon chipotle powder
7 teaspoons crushed pineapple
1 small onion
1/4 cup cilantro
4 Roma tomatoes
2 jalepeños
Juice of 2 limes

Place garlic, salt, pepper, oregano, sugar, chipotle, pineapple, onion, cilantro, jalepeños and lime juice into food processor and purée in spurts. Pour into bowl.

Place tomatoes into food processor and chop into small pieces. Pour tomatoes into chile mixture and stir. Serve with tortilla chips.

CHRISTINA'S CARNE ADOVADA

1 pound cubed pork loin
1/4 cup chile pequin
1/4 cup red chile powder
1/4 cup chile caribe
1/8 teaspoon oregano
1 tablespoon minced garlic
Sauté pork until well-cooked. Drain.

Combine chiles in large saucepan. Add 2 cups water. Bring to a boil over medium heat. When chile boils, add cooked cube pork loin. Marinate overnight.

Reheat and serve.