It's cold, and I'm busy.
Go away.

Stop looking at me like that. Why don't you people cook for me for a change?

Oh. Oh, I see. You really think I'm going to get out of my warm couch here, put my feet on that icy floor and stand in the kitchen in a greasy apron with my hand on my hip, a pair of babies possibly dangling from my neck, and slave for hours to feed you, my readers? .

OK. Fine ... I'm hungry too. Luckily, I have a recipe that involves a minimum of ingredients, a minimum of time and a maximum of winter warmth.

I shall make you beef stew.

In college, I had a friend who, one wintry New England morn, poked her head into my dorm room and said, "You know what I'd like? I'd like some beef stew." It was the coldest day of the year, and she wanted that warm, homey feeling beef stew always elicits.

This is true of beef stew even if you have no reason to associate it with hominess and warmth. If you are a Canadian lumberjack, you were probably fed beef stew on a wintry night as a child; those of us born in the tropics don't have those kinds of L.L. Bean-catalog memories. Yet, beef stew still manages to tug at our guts and heartstrings.

My friend and I set out on a quest to find beef stew. We began at the student center but, alas, found only pizza and a salad bar. The cafeteria was no better. We couldn't make stew since, as irresponsible college students, we were considered too immature to have kitchens filled with such dangerous toys as fire, gas and knives.

We felt so powerless — all we wanted in the world was beef stew and there was no way for us to get it. We went home in defeat, vowing, as we shook our fists to the sky, to study hard, graduate with honors and get jobs that would enable us to rent homes with kitchens so that we would be able to have beef stew whenever we damn well pleased.

This was the moment I decided I had to learn to cook.

I now have a job, and an apartment with a kitchen —
and the only thing I have TIME to make is beef stew, so I'm glad I like it.

This is my master recipe. It is not meant to be an exact formula, because the point of beef stew for busy people is that you can go to the grocery store, buy nothing but cheap stew meat, and still be able to go home and make a great dinner.

BEEF STEW
(Serves 3-4)

1 to 1-1/2 pounds stew beef (sometimes I use buffalo meat, even)
2-3 pounds root vegetables, cut into bite-size pieces (Carrots are nice, as are potatoes. If you have some potatoes in your fridge that are a weeny bit past their prime, this is a good way to use them. Some people like turnips.)
1 large onion, chopped
2 tablespoons olive oil
Some freshly chopped garlic (optional)
5 cups or more beef broth (enough to cover vegetables and meat)
1 cup wine or beer (I know red wine is the obvious choice, but I made beef stew with leftover Pinot Grigio last night and it was phenomenal. Beer works too. Remember: the quality of the liquor affects the quality of the stew, so think twice before cooking with Miller Lite.)
Salt and pepper to taste
Optional: Bay leaves, oregano, white pepper, cumin, curry, flour — in short, any reasonable spices you like. (I've even made beef stew with cinnamon.)

First of all, begin this stew in the morning, or even the night before you plan to serve it. It needs at least 4 to 5 hours to cook to become anything at all. It will be flavorless — and the meat tough — if you try to eat it before.

I make stew in a giant cast-iron Dutch oven, because I like to brown it on the stove and let it cook in the oven the rest of the day. You don't have to do this, but in my opinion it cooks faster and results in better stew.

Heat the olive oil in your Dutch oven or other heavy pot over medium-high heat. When it's hot, add the meat and brown it. If you like, dust the meat with salt, pepper and flour prior to browning it. I have no flour in my home (because I am a barbarian). I still made my stew, and it was delicious. It is important to brown the meat thoroughly, until it caramelizes on all sides, past the point where the meat releases its liquids and well into the phase where it sticks to the pot and makes the oil spatter. This is where the flavor comes from.

Remove the meat and put it aside on a plate. Add the onions to the pot and brown them in the meat residue and oil until browned and translucent. Add garlic and cook another minute or so, until fragrant.

Add the liquor and bring to a boil for about 2 minutes, cooking off the alcohol. Add the optional seasonings.

Add the vegetables and give everything a stir. Put the meat back in the pot and add the beef broth. Cover, and bring to a boil.

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.

When the stew comes to a boil, either turn it down to a simmer or, if using a Dutch oven, put it in the oven. Let it cook for as long as humanly possible.